You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Green mimosas i think yes
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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