The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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