I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
