Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
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he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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