I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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