i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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