i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
They took my balls.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My life is pants optional.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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