I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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