I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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