Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
