i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
