made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
