dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
