don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize