My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
