Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.