You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Barsexuality is the new black.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
