I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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