Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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