I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
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JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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