Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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