Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
