Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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