When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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