I've blown a few things in my day
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
