4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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