Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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