I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
