found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
