chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
