he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
