During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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