that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
