It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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