4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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