So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
