Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
