Just fell off a train. Bad.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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