Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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