I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
