it was like his penis was on wheels.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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