wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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