That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
