The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize