I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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