We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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