i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
