Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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