I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
