I forgot how hot balto sounded
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
