Christians are straight up FREAKS
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
