So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
