This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
