sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
