Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
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can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
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As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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