Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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