respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
