Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
