Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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