Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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