is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
