with your own penis?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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