Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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