don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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