So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
